Forever Remembered as Once Forgotten

i had an extremely busy week, weekend and start of another week. i worked all week last week, had two kitchen remodel projects begin and had to leave quickly to get to my reserve weekend in maryland. on top of all this, my wife and i have been going through a small financial crisis that has absolutely drained us emotionally. everyone wants their piece of our pie...but i digress.



i've had this nagging ... whatever ... in the back of my head for the last few days, so i went over some of my work projects making sure all my orders were in, shipments scheduled, etc. i get home and make sure all the bills are paid and kids are taken care of, but i couldn't shake the feeling, nor could i put my finger on what it was.


i got home today and began asking my son how his day at school went. he told me what he had for lunch and i asked him if he did anything special. he said, "dad...i had my birthday party today." i said, "ethan, it was probably for someone else. today is not your birthday." which is true. he said, "i know dad, it was yesterday." it was yesterday ... and i missed it. i don't think i've ever felt worse faster than when i realized what i had done. my whole world instantly crashed and i had absolutely nothing to say. i just ... totally ... selfishly .... forgot.


in the midst of everything that was going on around us i had gotten so wrapped up in my own problems that i missed the day that is characteristically the most celebrated day of a childs life. and he knew it. and he just stood there looking at me. i didn't know what to say or do. for the rest of his life, his sixth birthday will be remembered as begin forgotten.


words cannot describe the pain i felt, and mixed with his excitement about his school party, the contrast was too much to bear. i wanted to run out and buy him a toy, or a cake or some pizza or a movie or a video game or all of them. but i didn't. i will make it up to him, don't get me wrong. but i didn't use that opportunity to act emotionally.


we went downstairs and he sat on my lap and told me about his day. he told me about the party, and what he had for lunch. then he ate some dinner and watched a movie with his little brother, whose birthday is in two weeks. then he went to bed...just like any other day. and i realize...this day is just like any other day. every other day of the year i make stupid, selfish mistakes. every other day of the year he wants toys and too much sugar and cheese pizza. every other day of the year he sits with me or talks with me about what he did at school. that is the reason i have not broken his trust. i have hurt his feelings, but i have not broken his trust. in all reality, i've been broken myself but i have an opportunity...a gem, if you will...to use this time to learn about myself, my son and our relationship.


i am truly sorry, son, that i did not remember your special day.