Ahh, The World Around Us

Cops search mobile home of boy missing 10 years
...fear they may have just missed him

Wild protests in Oakland over shooting turn violent
...police claim they "never saw it coming"

Boeing delivers 50 commercial Jets during fourth quarter
...and still didn't make playoffs; threw 7 INT's to Lockheed; plan to retire...maybe

Navy creates 'force' to battle pirates
...local Jedi, "been there, done that"

Strahan likes the Giants' path to the Superbowl
...adds "The breezeway that leads to stadium seats very 'classy'; seats are warm. Popcorn anyone?"

Astronauts threatened by cosmic rays as sun becomes less active
...astronauts suspicious; sun always seems to 'have a headache'

Mystery 'roar' heard from outer space
...lawsuit arises: "Milky Way stepped on my foot" claims Andromeda; Dems blame Bush

Seattle gay bars receive ricin threats
...because there's nothing that Seattle gays hate more than ricin...and bars...

LA may restrict outdoor smoking
...Mayor says "all outdoor smoking hereby limited only to fires"

Rising violence at Chuck E. Cheese's described as 'madness'
...Mr. Cheese's is upset the defunct Showbiz Pizza gang constantly razzing that big purple thing; smashing instruments and calling me "Charley"

Dry southwest US is growing drier
...research indicates previous detections of dryness not as dry as orginally thought; drier dryness expected to become drier and more dry

Former "Cosby Show" actress has baby: named Nakoa Wolf-Manakauapo Namakaeha Momoa
..."We'll call him 'Sue'"

How to ask for a promotion in a recession
...see related article: HOW TO GUARANTEE YOURSELF A SEAT IN THE UNEMPLOYMENT OFFICE.

2009 will be very, very bleak
...Gov't says to consumers, "Be encouraged. Not to worry, it only gets worse!"

Top 5 reasons India can't do a "Gaza" on Pakistan
1) Gaza not located in Pakistan
2) India has very tiny army
3) Pakistan slightly larger than Gaza
4) India would prefer to have a "dance-off"
5) One word: BOLLYWOOD!

Wal-Mart stocks not happy
...redefines the term "Roll Back"; wipes stupid grin off smiley face

The Polaroid camera re-emerges...IN DIGITAL!
...technology turns around, says "Dude...where the heck have you been?"
...see related article: ROGER CLEMENS TESTIFIES; 'I have never used Polaroids. Someone is setting me...er...up...uhm...(what?) *lawyer whispers*...SORRY. NEVERMIND'